My fists were clenched and tears were my face As I told my dad most of my days are plagued with pain He said "I've known about what you carry for a long time" I can see it written in your eyes Your smile is genuine, but is quickly fleeting when on your face And if it helps at all son, I think about you every night when I pray" Here it comes Here it comes Here it comes Here it comes Not again I've been doing my best I've been bearing the load But most nights get cold when I start feeling like I'm all alone So if there's a purpose to this At the end of the road Grant me a strong back to shoulder it and find my way home I don't know my tears are falling But I've been trying to be Better than I have been I'll seize this moment I never want it To end I was only 4, happy, innocent then hurt, by weaponized scare tactics used by the church And although I've forgiven, I don't think Ill forget that one A congregation scared shitless spreading baseless fear as unconditional love Your push the fear while you claim it's all about love At the end of the day, I know change is on me It's unfair to rely on someone else to fucking save me So while I complain, I'll push forward confidently Take a few deeps breaths, And let go gracefully Here it comes Here it comes Here it comes Here it comes Not again I don't know my tears are falling But I've been trying to be Better than I have been I'll seize this moment I never want it To end

high risk high reward all is void and I get no support get what I put forth static noise is all I do this for why cant we just commit and making something significant there is no foundation and too much pride as soon as I hit this peak my vision will be complete my only action is to gratify vacations and holidays supplement my will to stay the expiration date is far too near what seemed like the right choice was only a decoy to take me away from my command think that you are one of us pretend that you put us up we all realized you just don't give a fuck could you care for once is that so tough logically what seemed to be the right choice tore me to pieces now you see that time spent pondering has brought you nothing we are going nowhere all these setbacks just won't stop me you mean nothing its only up from here

You say "I'm always wanting more, I want to feel loved, I just don't know what to do" But when you keep me at your arm's length How could I ever reach you? There's a distance between the bodies in our bed Greater than the one between us and the stars I am finally unburdened of your love Let this home become a house again From ours to mine to empty Left for another to find it the same way We've heard the message so many times It's time we just hang up the phone Can't say it feels all that different If I want to be lonesome I'll just be alone I'll try not to miss you while you're here But the clock is ticking rough I think you mean what you say But I don't think it's enough I think that I still love you But I really don't like you that much I'm seeing number 13s everywhere I think we're out of luck The empty beds been made Don't want to lay in it this time Too filthy from the crumbling walls Seems like I have to beg for your forgiveness For even asking for permission at all I'm only moving on in the ways that matter (In the literal sense of the word) The empty beds been made Don't want to lay in it this time Too filthy from the crumbling walls Seems like I have to beg for your forgiveness For even asking for permission at all I'm only moving on in the ways that matter There's a burden on our shoulders That's more than I can shrug I think she'll love you better I'm tired of feeling stuck I think that I still love you But I really don't like you that much I'm seeing number 13s everywhere I think we're out of luck

You'll never make ends meet to the highest regard value me I wanna get behind your retinas and perceive disarm your hippocampus the ichors left to seep setting in on the mirror blocking my reflection to see I wasted my whole youth on interests that mutilated me just be patient cuz I know I sure have all I see is red your shadow is always watching mocking me, punishing me for affairs left in the past I know you don't mean any harm but I can't function under your regard but my will is stronger what I know now will lead me through doubt please lead me through doubt ill never back down I cannot tap out ill never stop now gotta reclaim gotta restart gotta put back what fell apart